#ourpillar Guidelines


pillar was conceived with the understanding that mums want to hear from other mums through a safe and trusted network of like-minded mums, at any time of the day or night. In order for us to make that a reality, we have to grow the #ourpillar community, and in doing so, we want to make sure everyone has the space to support each other but in a safe space free from any threat of judgement. As such we wanted to create  a set of community guidelines and terms of use, so that we are all using the service responsibly and with the best interests of all mums in mind. In order to make sure this remains a safe space for our users, we have had to adopt a strict stance in that if you do not stick to our community guidelines, your posts will be deleted and/or your account be disabled. This is for the safety and security of the entire #ourpillar community.

First things first - what are the main pillars (like what we did there?) for our community to live by?:


We also want all members of the #ourpillar community to feel safe and respected at all times. We do this through moderation of content and we have a moderation team on board to answer any questions you may have on this (support@ourpillar.com). However, we also need your help to to keep pillar safe. If you read or see something concerning, please press the flag. This will alert admin to remove it for review.
People rarely join pillar with intent to cause trouble, but we will block those that do.


When you enter into one-to-one conversations with other mums, please be aware that we cannot take responsibility for things you share with each other. Think before you share any additional personal information with each other - particularly details that could be used to identify you outside of the pillar platform.


We have put into place character restrictions to make sure that what is provided to  the #ourpillar community is both thoughtful and uses the right language. We encourage you to express yourself but do not be abusive, offensive or swear excessively. Sexist, racist, homophobic or transphobic posts are not allowed and will be removed.

Posts describing or showing graphic violence or abuse can be upsetting for others and will be removed. Posts that encourage or condone illegal or criminal acts will be removed.


Listening and asking follow up questions is the best way to help someone. Don’t try to solve their problems. Most people are just looking for someone to validate their feelings and share their experiences.


One of our key learnings from all of the recent research, is being a place that is accessible for all. With that comes diversity; not just in people’s backgrounds and family situations but also in thinking. Try to put yourself in their shoes before you provide any advice and support.


In order to provide the best type of support to all mums, we need to be respectful.

Avoid judgement. Every mum parents differently and there is no wrong or right way of doing it.

Unfortunately pillar cannot provide adequate support for every eventuality.
We do not offer professional nor medical advice.
We are not a crisis service and in many situations it is necessary that you seek professional/medical support.

If you are feeling like pillar is not providing you with the type of support you need, please consider reaching out to someone in person or contacting an emergency helpline - some of which are listed below. Pillar will provide you with like-minded mums at all times of the day and night, but on the rare occasion nobody is available and you feel alone please seek additional help.

If you do need extra or more specialised support, please consider contacting one of the organisations below. If you have any other suggestions for helplines the #ourpillar community might find helpful in times of crisis, please let us know at hello@ourpillar.com so that we can check them out and list them here:

MIND : https://www.mind.org.uk/
Call: 0300 123 3393
Text: 86463

NO PANIC : https://www.nopanic.org.uk/
0844 967 4848

SANE : http://www.sane.org.uk/
0300 304 7000
Text: http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/textcare/

SAMARITANS : www.samaritans.org
116 123 
Email: emailjo@samaritans.org
Text: 07725909090

CHILDLINE: childline.org.uk, for those 19 and under:
Call: 0800-11-11
Email &
Chat services: 




Question: How do I know the community is moderated and that I will be safe?


There are 3 tiers to the pillar platform’s safety system:
1) Community moderation: Anyone can block anyone, anyone can flag anyone / any content.
2) 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week moderation. We have a team  of moderators reacting to community flags and also using technology to find any inappropriate behaviour on pillar. 
3) Pre-moderated content. Anything shared with the pillar app that is intended to be seen by the entire community is first checked for negative keywords that do not follow our community guidelines, and if they need further moderation a member of the #ourpillar moderation team will check it before it goes live.

Question: What if I think someone in the community is providing ill advice?


Answer: Part of our moderation is giving ownership to the people actually using pillar, so you the mums. You can flag any profile/content you feel goes against our guidelines above. This content immediately will be sent to our support team who will look into it further. If you still have questions you can always reach out to us at support@ourpillar.com.